In the realm of church job hunting, we got another 'no' yesterday. Well, it wasn't a clear 'no.' It was a we-want-you-if-the-two-guys-we-want-more-than-you-aren't-interested kind of 'no.' But we are interpreting it as no all the same, if for no other reason than to spare our hearts when the other shoe falls and the official 'no' comes.
I am disappointed. Discouraged. Sad.
Whenever we get a stinging rejection like this, my mind rehearses all the ways that life is NOT what we want right now. We are living in someone else's space; our house isn't selling; we aren't getting a full night's sleep; Lindon doesn't have a ministry position; and on and on the list goes. I try to panic and find practical next steps to soothe my anxious heart, or I sink into despair and wonder if God still loves us.
But last night I got this crazy idea to focus on reasons we have to be thankful. I hear 'no' so often that I thought it would help for me to make a list of some things I know. So here it is, in no particular order...
- God loves me and cares for my family and WILL provide a ministry position for Lindon.
- My two children are extraordinarily healthy.
- Our families love us and have blessed us with their generosity.
- My new friends from Gateway have encouraged me tremendously.
- My spouse is awesome.
- God continues to teach me and refine me while I wait.
This list could easily get longer, but I am going to stop for now. Just in the last 24 hours some friends have reached out to me with breathtaking kindness. I feel humbled. Loved. Grateful. I do not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future.