One of the things that I enjoy about having a baby is that people pay more attention to my baby than to me. Yes, you read that correctly. I enjoy the attention diversion. It's better than trying to hide behind a pole to avoid being noticed.
One of the things I do not enjoy about having a baby is what happens once people remember that Levi is not floating in mid air by himself but is indeed being held by his mother. Once this happens people start asking me the same questions that were posed to me 4 seconds earlier by the last person to admire Levi. So I have the same conversation with over and over and over. Here is generally how the conversation goes
Q: So, how is Levi today?
A: Levi is great!
Q: How is being a mom?
A: It's going well. Levi is a pretty easy baby, so we are very thankful for that. We really like him.
Q: Is he on a routine?
A: Pretty much.
Q: He's sleeping through the night now, isn't he?*
A: (Sigh) No, not yet. He typically wakes up once during the night to feed, but other than that, he is sleeping well.[Note: He actually DID sleep through the night for the first time last night, and we are elated. However, we are unsure as to whether this was a fluke or whether it's the new deal. Regardless, it made for a glorious morning.]
Q: You're not back at work yet, are you?
A: (Sigh) Yes, I am. I have been back since January 4.
Q: Oh, you are? I didn't realize. That's pretty quick to be back.
A: Actually, I was off for over 2 months, which was great.
Q: What do you do for childcare during the day?
A: Levi stays with his dad, and they have lots of fun together.
Q: But what is Lindon going to do when he starts classes?
A: Levi is going to go with Lindon.
Q: Oh really?!
A: Yep.
Q: I bet you miss your little guy when you're at work?
A: (Sigh) Yes. I do. Tremendously.
Q: Who does Levi look like?
A: It depends on who's looking at him. Everyone has a different opinion on this one. I think he looks like his father, but people often think he looks just like me.
Q: How big is he now?
A: We're not exactly sure since he hasn't been weighed or measured since his 2-month checkup. But we guess he weighs about 14 pounds and is about 24 inches long.
Q: What do you parents think?
A: They absolutely love being grandparents. They really have enjoyed Levi and wish they could see him more.
Q: And your brothers and sisters?
A: They really like him, too.
Q: Well, enjoy this time because they grow up so fast! I remember when mine were that age...(from here the conversation turns into a monologue).
*You'd be surprised how often people phrase their question just like this, and it can be discouraging. It implies that by this time a child should certainly be sleeping all night, but that's simply not the case. Like with many life experiences, being pregnant and being a new mother has taught me to be more sensitive to others. When you've been getting up every night for 12+ weeks, continuing to talk about how your child isn't sleeping through the night yet gets old. I think in the future I will just avoid this question altogether with new moms.
I think the purpose of this post is to help raise awareness of how often people ask new mothers the same questions. We love to talk about our children and how wonderful they are, but answering the exact same questions over and over is tiring, even when the askers mean well. As a suggestion, if you want to know how a mother is doing, try a very general question that she can interpret however she might wish. I appreciate when people ask "How are you?" or "How is life?" because I can steer away from the same old answers.
Being Levi's mom has shown me that there is a rhythm to life, and countless women have been down this road ahead of me. And many women I know and care for will soon go down this same road. This experience has taught me to find more thoughtful ways to invite them to share their thoughts. :)